Parents have no fear, August is here!

As the days of the new school year are slowly approaching, the summer calm is winding down. Parents are excited for their children to leave the house and be back at school. As much as I hear parents cheering, their children are not. Now if we could all just be on the same page? 

Here are some great ways for everyone to slowly transition back to school while still being in the "summer" mindset!

1. Set an adjusted bed time: Simulating a "school night" bed time prior to the start of school, will help your family begin to feel as if back to school is almost here. This is a tool to ease your kids in transitioning to an ideal bed time!

2. Schedule a time for homework: Many kids have to read books or complete projects during summer break. Right now would be a great time to make sure these assignments are completed and will be turned in on time. Sit with your kids, ask them to schedule a couple of hours a day for school work during their last summer weeks. If no homework needs to be completed, assign them homework assignments (you can find simulated school worksheets online). 

3. Plan back to school snacks: This can help ease children back to their school routine and increase their excitement for the new school year. Talk about healthy and tasty snacks that they may enjoy eating their first week back at school. This will give them something to look forward to! 

4. Go back to school shopping: For many children this is the best part of back to school. The new sneakers, shirts, notebooks and markers. Plan a budget together and go shopping together! Encourage your child to pick out an agenda book and notebooks, that they can use to start the year in an organized fashion. 

5. Explore the school: This is a must if your child will be attending a new school! It will help calm their nerves on the first day of class. Go tour the school together and find where their class is, the nearest bathrooms, office and lunch room. 

6. Talk about making and keeping friends: Discussing with your child how to meet new friends and maintain old friends is a social skill that they can always have handy. Practice meeting new kids through role-plays, to help calm their anxiety. Some children are more excited about meeting new friends and will use this as motivation for wanting to go back to school. 

Make these last weeks a back to school practice, by reminding your child of all the positive activities that await this new school year!

Save the Play Dates!

Calling another mom to plan a play date for your child does not seem out the ordinary. Sure it is probably not the way we were raised but times are changing and the way we communicate is evolving. I recently discovered that a dad blogger posted his reasons for wanting to vanish play dates for children!  He argued that children who are involved in play dates lack the ability to be spontaneous or that the word "date" just gives parents the wrong idea. 

Here is why I am pro play date:

1. Play dates do not cause children to lack spontaneity: Kids on play dates are still free to choose the activities they play and how they play. They are free to build a forts, play dress up or make believe they are super heroes. 

2. Play date planning teaches children to be organized: This is a skill many children (and teens) are lacking nowadays. By planning and showing/teaching your child why planning is important, your child will be able to model and apply this skill. Do not always plan for them, plan with your children! 

3. Play dates do not have to be an adult social gathering: Having one parent who rotates and plans to have five children (at most and not all day) is something most parents would be willing to accept. This can mean every parent has some time to his/her to do list or to just relax! 

4. Play dates teach children to socialize: Many children are lacking even mediocre social skills (due to being surrounded with technology all day). By having a play date children can learn to communicate verbally, resolve problems in person and speak up for themselves. 

5. Play dates can give children a break from technology: Today children are growing up with at least two to three forms of daily access to technology. Kids are either on the Ipad, a game system, computer, smart phone or TV.  Having a chance to play with other kids instead of being inside becoming best friends with their virtual game is a great way for them to grow and evolve! 

6. Play dates can benefit children who otherwise would not take a social risk: Children with autism and ADHD are too predominant groups of kids who would not typically befriend or take a chance in making new friends. By gathering with other kids during play dates they have a chance to learn communication techniques and experience friendships. 

Encourage your children to go out, plan, socialize and leave technology behind! Do not get carried away, play dates do not have to be over planned. Simply schedule, get together and let your child learn, be creative and have some time to just be kids!

The New Era of Pictures: "Say Selfie"

"Let's take a selfie!" Most of us have used or know of people who use this phrase on a daily basis. This is not necessarily alarming or something you should be concerned with. However, some portion of the population with smart phones and technology are becoming obsessed with selfies. These are the people who are constantly posting pictures, seeking confirmation about their appearance and need praise from others. 

Access to constant social media is a growing concern for adolescents/teens and young adults who experience low self esteem, poor body image, obsessive compulsive disorder and narcissism. Teens and young adults are at a high risk of already having low self esteem and poor body image. Adding selfies to their daily routines for attention on social media is negatively impacting adolescents/teens who are always in search of approval. 

How can we reduce the amount off attention that adolescents/teens or young adults seek from social media? This is not an easy task, but parents can start by increasing the amount of time teens spend away from technology. Uniting as a family during the day without technology, playing outside or simply taking a vacation away from technology are all great ways to promote living in the present moment. Young adults can also choose to spend a portion of time each day without use of technology, find organizations that promote here and now thinking and just spending time socializing with friends in person. 

Increasing self esteem and the self image that teens and young adults have about themselves also can help reduce the selfie dependency. This can be reached with therapy and groups specialized in improving self esteem, social skills and self image. 

Keep taking selfies but lets not make a selfie a day a trend. Get off the computer, make friends in person and find self approval from technology free situations. Finding time to stay focused in the present moment is something we can all work on! 

Eat Dinner as a Family

Many of us live hectic lives and have little to no time to dine together as a family. We have more time to tweet, post on Facebook or text it seems. Less families are putting technology aside and sitting down for dinner while having meaningful conversations. 

Around the dinner table families are able to share stories about their day and gain stronger connections to one another. The time we spend with our children is crucial in their development. They learn social cues, norms and values from modeling our behavior. 

Research also supports that family dinners: decrease childhood obesity, families eat healthier in general, adolescents are less likely to engage in risky behavior, children and adolescents have stronger relationships with their parents. It is also found that children and adolescents also want to spend time as a family eating meals together. 

Eating dinner together is a great way to connect with one another during our busy days! Here is a link for the Family Dinner Challenge, to help you and your family get started in dining together: http://www.thescramble.com/family-dinner-challenge/

Body Language and First Impressions

First impressions matter, whether you are going to a job interview or a first date. People form an impression upon meeting you which is almost irreversible. If you cross your arms during your first meeting, you may unwillingly always be labeled as closed and angry.  Our body language can make or break a job interview or first date for us. 

Fortunately, there are ways to improve your non-verbal signs to make you seem more desirable. First, mirroring or copying someones behavior can help you create a non-verbal connection. This shows the person you are open and will help you to establish rapport. 

Eye contact is also important and signals that you are paying attention. Socially we look at people when we address them to establish that we are confident and not lying. By looking at each other in the eye you are creating a deeper relationship based on trust. 

Finally, framing or standing in front of a group can also signal confidence. We want to "frame" ourselves, just as if we were a valuable picture or painting. Framing can occur by standing in front and in between a group. You will be the center of the group and this will make you seem more powerful and confident.  How we enter a room is also important. While walking in through a door way pause, stand confident with a firm posture and your arms open to seem inviting yet confident. 

Body language is an everyday part of our socialization. Sometimes we forget the importance of our non-verbal cues and this has powerful consequences. Practice your inviting,  confident body language and you will succeed.