What Domestic Violence Really Teaches Children

Domestic violence is a private matter that has been brought into the public eye much in part to the NFL and the poor decisions of some football players. Many of us have heard the story about Ray Rice's wife and about their troubled marriage. Much of the talk about domestic violence is usually spent discussing what the parents are experiencing and although this is important, I ask "what about the kids?" Many people do not realize how domestic violence impacts a child's physical, mental and emotional development. 

By witnessing domestic violence a child can learn.....   

that hitting or yelling at others is an appropriate way of communicating 

hitting or yelling equals respect 

by hitting or yelling other people listen to you

physical strength is more important than anything else

to have difficulty trusting other adults and parents

to fight peers at school and break things at home

that a foundation for a relationship is fighting 

in all relationships someone must be submissive

physical strength is emotional strength

that all men or women are violent (depending on who is the abuser) 

the poor ability to cope with stress or anxiety 

the poor ability to resolve problems without fighting or arguing 

to have low self esteem related to self blame for the domestic violence

to be afraid when other people are yelling around the 

to hide their problems in the face of fear 

to not trust mom and dad since they can barely trust themselves 

to be insecure with themselves and others 

and that all adults are violent people  

Domestic violence is violence against a family unit, everyone is impacted. Children are very much affected by what they see and hear at home. A simple verbal argument among adults can start a downward spiral in their young minds. If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship, I ask that you please find help, maybe not for yourself but definitely for your children.