What Domestic Violence Really Teaches Children

Domestic violence is a private matter that has been brought into the public eye much in part to the NFL and the poor decisions of some football players. Many of us have heard the story about Ray Rice's wife and about their troubled marriage. Much of the talk about domestic violence is usually spent discussing what the parents are experiencing and although this is important, I ask "what about the kids?" Many people do not realize how domestic violence impacts a child's physical, mental and emotional development. 

By witnessing domestic violence a child can learn.....   

that hitting or yelling at others is an appropriate way of communicating 

hitting or yelling equals respect 

by hitting or yelling other people listen to you

physical strength is more important than anything else

to have difficulty trusting other adults and parents

to fight peers at school and break things at home

that a foundation for a relationship is fighting 

in all relationships someone must be submissive

physical strength is emotional strength

that all men or women are violent (depending on who is the abuser) 

the poor ability to cope with stress or anxiety 

the poor ability to resolve problems without fighting or arguing 

to have low self esteem related to self blame for the domestic violence

to be afraid when other people are yelling around the 

to hide their problems in the face of fear 

to not trust mom and dad since they can barely trust themselves 

to be insecure with themselves and others 

and that all adults are violent people  

Domestic violence is violence against a family unit, everyone is impacted. Children are very much affected by what they see and hear at home. A simple verbal argument among adults can start a downward spiral in their young minds. If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence relationship, I ask that you please find help, maybe not for yourself but definitely for your children. 

                                     

                                     

                                     

Pay it Forward, Join the Caras Vortex

My life,  just like many others, has been impacted upon learning that my friend, David Caras, a retired coast guard chief, triathlon competitor and volunteer puppy raiser for the Southeastern Guide Dogs was hit by a car while jogging on a business trip. He lost his right leg, broke his ribs, experienced a traumatic brain injury, and has sustained additional mental and physical injuries. 

Dave is a dear friend, he is kind, humble and an incredibly caring person. He coined the term "vortex" to describe the magic that occurs when you become a volunteer puppy raiser. Dave expressed through this vortex, you are transferred to a life of giving back, helping others and incredible happiness. He said once you are in this vortex you feel on top of the world and want to continue paying selfless acts forward. 

As Dave learned through giving back, the act of giving without expecting anything in return is unique. We do not always understand the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction, that follows this act of kindness. Only others that have performed selfless acts can understand this emotion. 

After my husband learned about Dave's accident, he expressed "I want to live everyday like Dave has, dedicating each day to living life to the fullest without regrets." I agree and request that in Dave's honor, to keep his strength going while he is in the hospital (going through countless surgeries and therapies) we as a community of caring individuals enter this vortex and unite to pay selfless acts forward. No act is too small, and no act is too big. It is just a way of showing others gratitude, understanding and caring.  




Please support Dave and his journey back to competing in triathlons and raising guide dog puppies! 

Post pictures and messages showing your support for the #carasvortex