Study Finds Anxiety and Stress Make You Appear More Unattractive

A study conducted in Ireland demonstrated participants agreed that people who appear more anxious also appear to look more unattractive. As busy humans we do have a tendency to worry and to have anxiety. Sometimes this worry turns to a catastrophe, we let our anxiety and negative thoughts get bigger than us. How can we stop our anxiety from expanding and help us appear more attractive? 

First, do not surround yourself with other people who have negative energy. We sometimes do not realize our friends and family convey these negative thoughts of anxiety and this adds to our own anxiety. Learn to pick and choose who you surround yourself with. You have control over who you communicate with on a personal basis and you have the right to ask them to please stop this cycle of negative thoughts. 

Worrying irrationally and negative anxiety is created when we tend to live our life as if we were in the past or future. To control your anxiety focus on the present and concentrate on today. Be mindful of things you can control and be aware of your present surroundings. You are the only one who can create a calmer atmosphere for yourself, minimize your anxiety and thus appear more attractive.  

The Bachelor, is Finding "True Love" that Easy?

The craze with The Bachelor seems to be never ending and thousands of viewers tune in weekly to watch the drama unfold. Many of us wonder, is finding "true love" that easy? Well for starters, what is "true love?" Many of us believe "true love" is the happily ever after kind of love and our eternal devotion to our partners. However, knowing that the divorce rate in America is between 40% to 50% for your first marriage, we may be looking for the wrong kind of love for the wrong reasons. 

Love and infatuation are two different factors. Infatuation seems to be what The Bachelor loves to show us every week. The butterflies in your stomach, traveling to new exotic places and the lust of wanting each other. The Bachelor does not show us "true love" and it is misleading. We have to remember The Bachelor only films for six weeks, that is barely enough time to form a new habit for most of us, let alone get to know a potential partner. 

The truth is most of us will experience some sort of boredom in our relationship and may want to stray away. How do you overcome this? Step back and focus on you. Ask yourself, what is the real issue within me that I am bringing into our relationship? You will be surprised after some soul searching. You may realize you feel unattractive, you may be stressed at work or your family may be the source of unwanted turmoil. Relationships fluctuate and that is natural, do not let go just because your prince charming (or Bachelor) does not meet your checklist of all your requirements at all times. Be patient and unlike the speedy six weeks of The Bachelor "true love" means "true work." 

Here is a link for those of you who have never watched The Bachelor on ABC. 

Exercise to Promote Mental Health

The power of exercise is unique! Exercise helps our mental, emotional and physical well being. As a counselor I ask my clients to take the time to schedule at least 30 minutes of exercise into their busy lives. It is a difficult goal to attain for most but my clients have noticed after about a month to two months a new exercise habit is formed and exercise becomes a natural routine.


Exercise is beneficial in reducing stress and improving your mood. It is a powerful tool for people who need to manage anger, anxiety, depression and even addiction. If you need another motivating factor for exercising and want to run for a helping cause, here is a free app I use to count the miles your run: http://www.charitymiles.org/ This exercise app applies the miles you runs and swaps them for money that is donated to a charity of your choice.

Children Coping with Tragedies

It is important to remember not all children are alike and many children may experience a range of symptoms related to a tragedy. In order to help your child cope you must first understand what your child is feeling, help comfort them and help them feel safe.

Recently the Moore, Oklahoma tornado impacted the lives of many children and families. Parents and teachers were frantic trying to keep themselves calm while trying to instill safety and hope in their children.

After the tornado, children have felt the need to be comforted. Children will ask questions when they are prepared to and as adults it is important that we are aware of this. Do not pressure the child to talk about the event, since that may minimize the willingness of them to talk openly. When answering questions, be honest and age appropriate, as to avoid instilling any unnecessary fear in the child.

As a parent it is important to keep the line of conversation open and inviting to your child. This will provide your child with comfort and reassurance. Do not become an over emotional parent yourself; try to speak to your child with a calm and steady voice. If you openly share your experience with your child this will make you sound more inviting and help build trust in your parent-child relationship.

More Counseling therapy tools for adolescents, couples, parents and families coming soon!